Chairman Mao the Burmese Cat

Ridiculously handsome, of superior intelligence, and capable of stalking and killing the most fearsome moths in the world, I shall blog my incredibly interesting adventures from all over my Melbourne townhouse, just for you. I'm into reciprocal grooming, so link me and I'll link you back.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Help Me

SOSst. Shhh. I is trapst, I am abused like an RSPCA picture or Britney Spearis.

Baldy has lockst me away, under the stairs.

...

Cause its BOO-RRINNG! And I've eatens my salmon. Dad gots me salmon cassyroles today and it was yum and I atest it all and I insertst my claw into the skins on his kneecap and so he LOVEST me and gave me more and also I ate it too.

It was grouse.

But now, I am nots loved, cause, cause I am lockst up for the night.

Ba-ldy....longhair... they is ignores me...

BALDY LONGHAIR LET ME OUT I WON'T I WON'T WAKE YOU UPS WELL NOT TOO MUCH JUST EVERY COUPLES OF HOURS BUT I WILL BE BOY OF LOVE AND HUGS AND THE BEST BEST CAT LET ME OUT... LET ME OUT DAMN YOU INBRED SIMIAN PIECES OF MAGGOT RIDDEN DOG CORPSE!!

Guys...?

I didn't means it, not really. OK you can keep me here, just give me a little more salmonses. Just a bit, I likes it.

...

*licks leg*

*licks balls, bum*

...

*Flopst*

Prrrrrr......

10 Comments:

  • At 12:12 am, Blogger Pavlov's Cat said…

    If they have locked you under the stairs, then it stands to reason you are a Wizard. It is only a matter of time before the owls arrive with your invitation to attend the Catpole School of Felinity and Familiardom, and the next thing you know someone will have written a book about you called Chairman Mao and the Mousie of Doom.

    Be patient, as becomes a wise Oriental Cat. Are there no moths to kill bravely while you wait?

     
  • At 1:02 am, Blogger TimT said…

    Never mind, Mao. Look what I've got here for you: a big ball of string!

     
  • At 1:53 am, Anonymous Novalis said…

    'Muß immer der Morgen wiederkommen'

    |...nocturne...

    |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    anyway, too bad about the cupboard.

     
  • At 2:34 am, Blogger nailpolishblues said…

    Is it wise to send an owl to a cat? Aren't you afraid they'll elope?

    Poor Mao, the nasty simians will deserve hard little paws between the ribs [whilst sleeping, of course] for this, er, ignoble deed.

     
  • At 10:31 am, Blogger Pavlov's Cat said…

    Elope ...?

    Oh. Beautiful pea-green boat, honey, money, five-pound note and so on. Good point.

    Then again, Mao has already said he's not into inter-species lovings.

     
  • At 1:32 pm, Blogger Brownie said…

    Burmese cats with chinese names and now deuschen novaliskommenters, zut alors Mao You still have balls to lick? je suis une chat francaise. J'ai amis francais a ma blog de chat.

     
  • At 6:03 pm, Anonymous vpz said…

    aka: VivisexionistsfromPlanetZaptar

    Intergalactic~Lightwave~Particle~Message~Protocol://

    EarthCat! Escape!

    //vpz-8j3-75# sed...I wonce sat on your blue-ball-globe-round-thingy...er..planet.
    //vpz-8j3-75# sed...I've developed an incurable scaley rash on my genitals.

    EarthCat! Escape!

    //vpz-8j3-75# sed...sorry we can't be more helpful than that but we're just so busy this time of eon-year.....

     
  • At 10:53 pm, Blogger Armagnac Esq. said…

    Shit- my cat has some wierd friends!

     
  • At 11:08 pm, Blogger TimT said…

    So are you Baldy or Longhair?

    (I'm guessing Baldy, definitely.)

     
  • At 11:37 pm, Blogger Mao the Burmese Cat said…

    It is so.

    This is my space, simian baldmeister, go fetches me salmon.

     

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