Help Me
SOSst. Shhh. I is trapst, I am abused like an RSPCA picture or Britney Spearis.
Baldy has lockst me away, under the stairs.
...
Cause its BOO-RRINNG! And I've eatens my salmon. Dad gots me salmon cassyroles today and it was yum and I atest it all and I insertst my claw into the skins on his kneecap and so he LOVEST me and gave me more and also I ate it too.
It was grouse.
But now, I am nots loved, cause, cause I am lockst up for the night.
Ba-ldy....longhair... they is ignores me...
BALDY LONGHAIR LET ME OUT I WON'T I WON'T WAKE YOU UPS WELL NOT TOO MUCH JUST EVERY COUPLES OF HOURS BUT I WILL BE BOY OF LOVE AND HUGS AND THE BEST BEST CAT LET ME OUT... LET ME OUT DAMN YOU INBRED SIMIAN PIECES OF MAGGOT RIDDEN DOG CORPSE!!
Guys...?
I didn't means it, not really. OK you can keep me here, just give me a little more salmonses. Just a bit, I likes it.
...
*licks leg*
*licks balls, bum*
...
*Flopst*
Prrrrrr......
Baldy has lockst me away, under the stairs.
...
Cause its BOO-RRINNG! And I've eatens my salmon. Dad gots me salmon cassyroles today and it was yum and I atest it all and I insertst my claw into the skins on his kneecap and so he LOVEST me and gave me more and also I ate it too.
It was grouse.
But now, I am nots loved, cause, cause I am lockst up for the night.
Ba-ldy....longhair... they is ignores me...
BALDY LONGHAIR LET ME OUT I WON'T I WON'T WAKE YOU UPS WELL NOT TOO MUCH JUST EVERY COUPLES OF HOURS BUT I WILL BE BOY OF LOVE AND HUGS AND THE BEST BEST CAT LET ME OUT... LET ME OUT DAMN YOU INBRED SIMIAN PIECES OF MAGGOT RIDDEN DOG CORPSE!!
Guys...?
I didn't means it, not really. OK you can keep me here, just give me a little more salmonses. Just a bit, I likes it.
...
*licks leg*
*licks balls, bum*
...
*Flopst*
Prrrrrr......
posted by Mao the Burmese Cat @ 10:16 PM
10 Comments:
At 12:12 AM,
Pavlov's Cat said…
If they have locked you under the stairs, then it stands to reason you are a Wizard. It is only a matter of time before the owls arrive with your invitation to attend the Catpole School of Felinity and Familiardom, and the next thing you know someone will have written a book about you called Chairman Mao and the Mousie of Doom.
Be patient, as becomes a wise Oriental Cat. Are there no moths to kill bravely while you wait?
At 1:02 AM,
TimT said…
Never mind, Mao. Look what I've got here for you: a big ball of string!
At 1:53 AM,
Novalis said…
'Muß immer der Morgen wiederkommen'
|...nocturne...
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
anyway, too bad about the cupboard.
At 2:34 AM,
nailpolishblues said…
Is it wise to send an owl to a cat? Aren't you afraid they'll elope?
Poor Mao, the nasty simians will deserve hard little paws between the ribs [whilst sleeping, of course] for this, er, ignoble deed.
At 10:31 AM,
Pavlov's Cat said…
Elope ...?
Oh. Beautiful pea-green boat, honey, money, five-pound note and so on. Good point.
Then again, Mao has already said he's not into inter-species lovings.
At 1:32 PM,
Brownie said…
Burmese cats with chinese names and now deuschen novaliskommenters, zut alors Mao You still have balls to lick? je suis une chat francaise. J'ai amis francais a ma blog de chat.
At 6:03 PM,
vpz said…
aka: VivisexionistsfromPlanetZaptar
Intergalactic~Lightwave~Particle~Message~Protocol://
EarthCat! Escape!
//vpz-8j3-75# sed...I wonce sat on your blue-ball-globe-round-thingy...er..planet.
//vpz-8j3-75# sed...I've developed an incurable scaley rash on my genitals.
EarthCat! Escape!
//vpz-8j3-75# sed...sorry we can't be more helpful than that but we're just so busy this time of eon-year.....
At 10:53 PM,
Armagnac Esq. said…
Shit- my cat has some wierd friends!
At 11:08 PM,
TimT said…
So are you Baldy or Longhair?
(I'm guessing Baldy, definitely.)
At 11:37 PM,
Mao the Burmese Cat said…
It is so.
This is my space, simian baldmeister, go fetches me salmon.
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