Chairman Mao the Burmese Cat

Ridiculously handsome, of superior intelligence, and capable of stalking and killing the most fearsome moths in the world, I shall blog my incredibly interesting adventures from all over my Melbourne townhouse, just for you. I'm into reciprocal grooming, so link me and I'll link you back.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I have stuffs for you and you

Because I likes you and you are what lovest me 'cause you visits me (although none of you brings me salmon yet, not really!) and even I don't mind so muches the simians what also leaves their filthy paws on my site- but good-filthy for a simians, I means no offences- aanyway 'cause of all this and stuff I have presents for you.

Also some of you are is girly cats and I likest girls. Please don't believes what they mutterst about my bolloxt, I am a healthy boy with a healthy appetite.

Certainly for salmon.

And my bolloxt is still there, but just a tiny bit smaller.

Really tis.

I HAVE A SAX STILL OK ITS NOT MY FAULT DON'T LAUGHS AT ME I DIDN'T DECIDE TO TAKE ME AND POP MY JATST CRACKERS OUT AT THE SMELLY PLACE WITH THE WOMEN IN WHITE COATST PLEASE DON'T LAUGH OR I'LL TAKE YOUR EARLOBE OFF AND EATS IT WITH MY CASSYROLES.

...

*rolls over*

*rolls back*

So anyway what do you have for me today?

Okee I gives YOU stuff today, I see. It ist nothings you verily will be thrilled of, just linkst that what is fun and givens to me by you. But maybe you haven't read them. Not you, you other than you that lefts the links. YOU KNOWS WHAT I MEAN.

Sorry, bad day, baldy is upsets and angry at work.

So... Hairy Tis....

Cutesmuss!!

*prrrr*

And...AND EVERYTHINGS I WROTE FROM HERE DOWN WAS NOT SAVED AND PUBLISHED BY BLOGGER THAT IS RUN BY STUPID STUPID SIMIANS.

Seriousmuss, that sucks. I had quotes and alls. OK, I writes again, hairy tis...

Fat Pets!

The sweet (though simian) ladycracked has asks me to comment on this arctical. This is what its hays:
A survey of British vets and owners showed that one in three pets, or 33 per cent, were considered overweight and 38 per cent of pet owners said their animals put on weight over Christmas.
Well they WOULD says that wouldn'ts they?

Like baldy and longhairs they eat sand eat sand eat sand eats but when their poor lovings superiour neglecteds puddah says love me, and givest me just a smidgeon morsal scraps of salmon they go callings them FAT.

FAT!

Stupid apes, fat themselves, like rottweilers too dopey to get back down on all fours.

So I says the arctical is CRAP. I provides proofs, cast your forensix eyes over the last sentenst:
About 30,000 human deaths a year in Britain are attributable to obesity, health experts say.
What, I ask you, does this have to do with an arctical about Pets??

Nothing, they just had nothings of relevance to say.

Journalist art-school dropout simian trash.

Now, you must go. Though a quick scratches on the head topst is not out of the questions.

8 Comments:

  • At 11:47 pm, Blogger Pavlov's Cat said…

    Thank you, Mao. I like the bun in the hand and the swimming piglets.

    Being a cat myself, I am actually not physically able to skritch you in the correct way between your furry ears. You can have some of my salmon casserole though.

    (But not any of my chicken and tuna mornay in the little square tinfoil thingy that I am not going to identify by brand name because I saw what happened when you said Wh*skas that time -- because that is ALL FOR ME.)

     
  • At 9:35 am, Blogger LadyCracker said…

    well Mao, that is a very well thought out response. you must take after your simians.

     
  • At 10:30 am, Blogger Princess Cleo said…

    I am nicely nestled on the simians big pillow. Have been given many head pats & snuggles. Harry is still on patrol for a NASTY black cat who invaded our realm. BOTH simians chased it down the street! I like my simians. They protect moi. So does Harry. He's much bigger and far more of a yob than I.

    You can have some of *my salmon*, you lovely chick magnet.

    *purrrrrrrr*

     
  • At 2:02 pm, Blogger Brownie said…

    Princess Cleo appears to be the same sort of 'Hello Sailor' Princess as HSH Stephanie de Monaco ...

     
  • At 10:53 am, Blogger Pavlov's Cat said…

    PS -- Mao, on the bolloxt thing: most girly cats aren't in a position to complain about this, if you see what I mean, even if we wanted to. We too have been to the smelly place with the woman in the white coat. Even that tart Princess Cleo the Paris Hilton of the Sandbox, I shouldn't wonder. No, wait -- Paris Hilton is the Paris Hilton of the Sandbox.

    Anyway. It's much more important to most of us that you are a SNAM.

     
  • At 12:47 pm, Blogger Princess Cleo said…

    You calling MOI a trollop!

    Take that!

    And THAT

    I am slim and beautifully sleek.

    Not chubby. LIKE YOU.

    FZZZZKKKKKKK

     
  • At 11:39 pm, Blogger Lucy Tartan said…

    Hey puss, I meme'd you.

    This should be interesting.

    http://allordinary2.blogspot.com/2006/01/weird-habits-meme.html

     
  • At 6:49 pm, Blogger Brownie said…

    Mao babe, when you finish Lucys meme, your simian is gonna stick you inside your cat carrier so that poor little Minh can have some fun around the house.
    You have to file the Sibling Rivalry mate. He might cease the salmon - d'ya ever think of that eh?

     

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